Wading through the murk so you don’t have to …
Jean-Claude: I shagged Kylie
While promoting his new movie, Expendables 2, Jean-Claude Van Damme made the startling revelation to The Guardian that he shagged Kylie Minogue while filming Street Fighter:
“I tell you what, you should ask her. She’ll have a better memory. I’m 51 years old, do you know how much I was punched in the face on The Expendables? No, no. No. And let’s just say it happened, so what? Who wants to know? … Sometimes you let go of stuff … I don’t know, maybe. Yes. OK. Yes, yes, yes. It happened. I was in Thailand, we had an affair … Sweet kiss, beautiful lovemaking. It would be abnormal not to have had an affair, she’s so beautiful and she was there in front of me every day with a beautiful smile, simpatico, so charming, she wasn’t acting like a big star. I knew Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand. She’s a great lady.”
Now, I know Kyles has a thing for continental men … but Jean-Claude Van Damme … really?
Kylie, Kylie, Kylie …
Bet she wants to wring his annoying Belgian neck right now.
RIP Helen Gurley Brown
Last month, a former Cosmo colleague, Acacia Stitcher posted a picture (above) and wrote on Facebook: “HELEN GURLEY BROWN!!! Please note that girlfriend is still wearing fishnets at 90! Can’t believe I have met her twice now!”
I was blown away to see Helen Gurley Brown – the legendary former US Cosmopolitan magazine editor – was still working at her office desk at age 90. This morning, I was so sad to hear that she had passed away. I spent nine years working at Aussie Cosmo and experienced firsthand what an omnipresent force of nature she was: she sent every editor worldwide a critique of every issue they published, every month. Some of the stuff she said was infuriating, some of it was facinating, but the most mind-blowing thing was how much she cared about the brand and the editors.
Here are just a few of the comments from former Aussie Cosmonauts on Facebook this morning:
Mia Freedman: “Vale Helen Gurley Brown. This is my favourite photo with her. We were dancing at a Cosmo conference in the Bahamas with all the other international editors. I had to sit down after an hour. She kept going all night. She was about 80 back then. Thank you Helen for everything you did for women….xxxxx http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/helen-gurley-brown-cosmo-editor-and-feminist/“
Tracey Cox: “I met Helen Gurley Brown from Cosmopolitan when I was Associate Editor and she was incredibly kind to me. May she indeed RIP.”
Marina Go: “Cosmopolitan magazine creator Helen Gurley Brown was an innovator who entertained while changing lives. Proud to have worked for her brand.”
Miley’s new do – love or hate?
Just in case you missed it – despite blanket Facebook and Twitter coverage – here is Miley Cyrus‘ new ‘do. And people have been quite vocal in their negative opinions about it.
Miley’s response: “My dad Billy Ray Cyrus used to tell me, ‘opinions are are like a**holes –everybody has one’ LOVE my hair. Feel so happy, pretty, and free.”
The hairstylist responsible for the pixie cut is Chris McMillan. His previous claim to fame was creating Jennifer Aniston‘s “Rachel” on Friends ’do in the ’90s. So I’m expecting to see teenaged girls everywhere emulating it soon.
Me? I really like it. She looks cool, or funky or whatever the trendy word is that people use these days.
Rob’s first TV appearance post-break-up
Daily Show host Jon Stewart went easy on Robert Pattinson in his first TV appearance post-break-up with Kristen Stewart. Probably because he’d been threatened with death by Rob’s publicist. So, weirdly, the break-up wasn’t mentioned at all during the interview.
“Kristen’s name was never even mentioned and it definitely seemed like Jon was giving him a break,” an audience member told Us Weekly. “Jon brought out the ice cream for him and Rob to eat, almost like Jon was feeding it to Rob to help him get through a breakup . . . Jon didn’t ask anything about Kristen but it was obvious that was what the ice cream was for.”
Jen & Justin: publicity junkies?
Like I knew she would be, Lainey Gossip is all over the Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux engagement timing like a rash. This is what she had to say about their announcement:
“On the weekend that Brange was rumoured to marry in France – didn’t happen – Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux announced their engagement.
Coincidence or conspiracy?
Timing, of course, as is the case, always, with Jen vs Brad and Angelina, is paramount. They did not release their statement on Friday, when it would have been buried by the Olympics. They did not release it on Tuesday after the weekly magazines close their new issues. They chose to wait until Brange made it through the weekend without a wedding, and almost right after the flames were extinguished in the London cauldron, and sent PEOPLE a confirmation statement, ensuring that, post-Games, their story would dominate all headlines. It was the lead-off story on most sites and most morning news shows last night and this morning.
Coincidence or conspiracy?
And how will Brange answer? Those French gossips are still insisting it’ll now be this coming Saturday August 18th. Whatever. With nothing really to promote right now, I wonder if it might be a wasted opportunity. And besides, strategically, if we’re talking war terms, it’d be best to wait out when Jen’s date will be…if they really want to f-ck her up.”
Should Posh be renamed Snooty Spice?
Predictably, the gossip columnists are yabbering about how Victoria Beckham distanced herself from the other Spice Girls during their Olympic closing ceremony performance. Here are two of my favourites (betcha can’t guess who they are … oh, right, yeah, you probably can …)
Dlisted: “Baby Spice, Scary Spice, Sporty Spice and Ginger Spice (who’s more like Sun-In Spice now) all twerked their asses and moved their mouths to a recorded track like they’ve never EVER moved their mouths to a recorded track before while Posh posed, stood, posed and busted out a gallery of raw emotions from “bitchface” to“bitchfacewhilestandingontopofataxi.
“If I looked at a mirror while pissing, I’d give a wider variety of facial expressions than Posh did while performing a song about spicing up lives and shit. But we should give Posh some credit, because she did climb stairs during that performance and that’s the most physical activity she’s done in her entire life. Posh was probably so burnt out after that they had to carry her to her custom Hermes leather fainting couch and hand feed her a calorie-free lemon seed for some nourishment.”
“Imagine how it would be at a live event? There are the four other ones dancing up at the front. Where’s Posh? Oh off to the side just… being thin.”
That is, indeed, what happened …