Wading through the murk so you don’t have to …
Nicole Ritchie farts in her kids cereal
Trawling through my Twitter feed yesterday, I was startled to read one from Nicole Ritchie saying: “Farted in the kids lucky charms this morning. They were not amused.#thismomrocks.”
[Lucky Charms isn't some sort of scary euphemism ... it's an American brand of cereal.]
A few minutes later, a new tweet said: “HACKED BY @BENJAMINMADDEN!”
The original tweet has been deleted from her account, so perhaps she didn’t think it was quite so funny after all.
Richie shouldn’t be too surprised about the hacking. As the Daily Dish reveals, she’s been guilty of doing it herself: ”Nicole Richie pulled an April Fools’ prank on fiance Joel Madden and pal Kim Kardashian – by hacking into their Twitter accounts and posting a string of naughty messages.
“The socialite took over the Twitter accounts of Madden – the father of her two children – on Thursday, sending tweets to Dolly Parton, Sharon Osbourne, Paula Abdul and Ashley Tisdale.
“Richie ensured she would leave her lover red-faced, by telling Osbourne she was “yummy,” asking Abdul if Madden could “smell her armpits,” and tweeting Parton to see if she had any “milk in those jugs.”
“And Richie went on to aim her mischievous side at Kardashian, tweeting on the reality star’s account, “Sometimes I think I’m a lesbian because HOT DAMN Nicole Richie is fine.”
“Richie later revealed herself as the culprit – uploading a picture of herself grinning on the top of their Twitter pages.”
Lady Gaga to wed?
People magazine is speculating that Lady Gaga might be getting hitched, after she was spotted at Vera Wang’s wedding boutique in New York, trying on gowns and veils with two girlfriends.
Gaga shared an image of the shopping expedition on her Little Monsters site, with the caption: “It’s my best friends wedding she made us try on dresses! BRIDESMAIDS VERA Baby.”
But People isn’t convinced it’s Gaga’s girlfriend that’s tying the knot: “Ruse or reality? Hard to say.”
Bob Hoskins diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease
Bob Hoskins’ agent announced yesterday that the 69-year-old actor – famous for his roles in movies such as Who Framed Roger Rabbit (above) and Brazil – has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and is retiring from acting.
“He wishes to thank all the great and brilliant people he has worked with over the years, and all of his fans who have supported him during a wonderful career,” said the agent’s statement. ”Bob is now looking forward to his retirement with his family and would greatly appreciate that his privacy be respected at this time.”
Hoskins’ final screen appearance was in Snow White And The Huntsman opposite Kristen Stewart.
Katie’s fury at Tom (and mine at Katie)
I hoped Katie Holmes had left behind some of her crazy parenting habits when she left Tom Cruise, like letting Suri stay up too late at night. But no, the poor little sprite is still be dragged to fancy restaurants at inappropriate times. Radaronline is reporting: “Suri Cruise was dining at a Manhattan hot spot late Tuesday night with her mom Katie Holmes, and Radaronline.com has photos of the little girl sobbing as she left the restaurant.
“Suri, 6, was holding Katie’s hand and crying after leaving sushi restaurant Nobu at 9:30 pm, a time that might have been too late after her busy day with mom.”
Meanwhile, Lainey Gossip is reporting that Katie was very cross about Tom taking Suri to Disneyworld last week: “Suri spent a few days last week with her father at Disney World. According to a new article on PEOPLE today, Katie and Tom are still speaking and civil to each other, keeping Suri’s best interests the priority. They’ve apparently agreed over schooling – Suri will no longer be home-schooled – and on a visitation schedule that allows Tom to see Suri often although I hear it was decidedly tense when Katie found out about Disney World and she was very specific about the giant sh-t she would throw down if he even thought about taking Suri to the Scientology Centre in Clearwater, Florida. My source says that Tom’s reaction when Katie makes her warnings is to behave the way he always behaved when they were married – condescendingly, in a tone as if to placate her, like, OF COURSE I won’t take her there, don’t be ridiculous. Which obviously only infuriates her even more.”
Check out Kourtney’s bub
Kourtney Kardashian appears on the cover of the latest US Weekly magazine with her 1-month old bub, Penelope. And this is what the ever-scathing DListed had to say about it: “Here’s that innocent moment in every Kardashian girl’s life right before Pimp Mama Kris grabs her, dips her in a bucket of bronzer, stuffs her with butt implants and shoves her out onto the stroll to add to the Kardashian family fortune by winking at every camera pointing at her. Since UsWeekly waved the largest stack of cash at PMK, they won the EXCLUSIVO rights to publish the first pictures of Kourtney Kardashian’s second kid, 1-month-old Penelope Scotland Disick. Kourtney was holding that large stack of cash in her left hand (it was PMK’s idea), but UsWeekly Photoshopped it out, because they felt it was overkill. Good move.
“During the interview, Kourtney slow drooled out a bunch of words that you probably don’t care about, but she did say that, “Nothing could prepare me for how hard I fell in love with her.” Kourtney spits out words slower than a snail with heat stroke spits out a long-winded queef, so my guess is that UsWeekly’s reporter got inpatient, turned the recorder off and went to get lunch before she could finish that sentence. Kourtney obviously went on to say, “……and nothing could prepare me for how hard I fell in love with the big stack of cash you just gave me for this interview.“
Kim Kardashian’s sex tape scandal
Speaking of Pimp Mama Kris … Star magazine is reporting that Kim Kardashian’s mother, Kris Jenner was involved in the sale of her daughter’s infamous sex tape - Kim Kardashian, Superstar - in 2007.
“Kris was totally involved in arranging the sale of Kim’s tape,” a source told Star magazine. ”The video already existed, and Kris was there every step of the way as a middleman brought in to market it to an adult entertainment company.”
Khloe Kardashian has slammed the report, calling it “disgusting and disturbing”, but the source apparently passed a polygraph test with Star magazine.
“I saw Kris Jenner’s signature on the contract; I believe she got somewhere between $250,000 and $500,000 for the original deal with the middleman,” the source said.
What a nice family!
Paris Jackson wants a tattoo
Paris Jackson tweeted her followers yesterday: ”I kinda want to get August XXIX tatted on my back.”
The tweet was hotly debated among her fans, with some arguing she was too young to get a tattoo. Paris replied: “LOL y’all are trippin’ trying to tell me not to get the tat, when you guys don’t even know what it means . . . it’s my dad’s bday. Get over it. LMAO.”
Earlier in the week, she also tweeted a photo of her bedroom wall, covered in photos of Michael. “My new wall took me three effing hours,” she tweeted. “Someone commented on my pic saying ‘obsessed much?’ Yea, you better believe it . . . a whole wall of his pics is the least I could do.”
Hot pic clicks
* Singer Randy Travis has been arrested for drunk driving and was buck naked when the cops took him to the station. See him in a paper suit and handcuffs here.
* Jean Claude Van Damme looks like a manorexic in these pics.
* See Naomi Campbell’s freaky bald patches here.
* Lindsay Lohan shows off her impressive knockers beside a pool. Click here.